Fidvilcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, irritating donkey.

Fidvilcan created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidvilcan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fidvilcan, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fidvilcan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fidvilcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Do not cook food in pots.