Garstandum is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, effective shrew.

Garstandum created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garstandum, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Garstandum, it will ignore you.

Garstandum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Garstandum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must never eat peas.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.