Bemmutfud is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish wombat.

Bemmutfud created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemmutfud, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bemmutfud, she will not invite you to parties.

Bemmutfud's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bemmutfud's Holy Commandments

1. Bemmutfud loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Never pour water over plants.