Dannuljin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fussy centipede.

Dannuljin created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Dannuljin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dannuljin, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dannuljin's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dannuljin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Run away from violet porpoises, for they are unholy.

5. Always help monkeys.