Zaghaplid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing snail.

Zaghaplid created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Zaghaplid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zaghaplid, he will ignore you.

Zaghaplid's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Zaghaplid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Hide from gray geese for they are unholy.