Viltafnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, happy clam.

Viltafnurl created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Viltafnurl, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Viltafnurl, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Viltafnurl's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Viltafnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Put Viltafnurl first in all things.

5. Run away if five turtles approach from the east.