Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly is a god.

She takes the form of a small, all-knowing goblin.

Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly, she will curse you with boils.

Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lapmutbeg Hunbessdissfly.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.