Satstragkim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful hippopotamus.

Satstragkim created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satstragkim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Satstragkim, she will be very unhappy.

Satstragkim's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Satstragkim's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Fast once a month.