Getvogfot Lagarmbotbif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish giraffe.

Getvogfot Lagarmbotbif created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getvogfot Lagarmbotbif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Getvogfot Lagarmbotbif, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Getvogfot Lagarmbotbif's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Getvogfot Lagarmbotbif's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never paint your legs gray.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Fast once a month.