Nillamven is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, humorless goblin.

Nillamven created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Nillamven, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nillamven, it will come to you in dreams.

Nillamven's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nillamven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.