Nuttfossnak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, narcissistic wombat.

Nuttfossnak created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttfossnak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nuttfossnak, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nuttfossnak's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nuttfossnak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never laugh in the presence of tortoises.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never skip near whales.

5. Never look in ponds.