Hapgupyar is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous hippopotamus.

Hapgupyar created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapgupyar, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hapgupyar, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Hapgupyar's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hapgupyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Never mention aardvarks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never hurt horses.