Tonnurtnurt Lipzagpog is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful narwhal.

Tonnurtnurt Lipzagpog created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonnurtnurt Lipzagpog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonnurtnurt Lipzagpog, she will turn you into a tree.

Tonnurtnurt Lipzagpog's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tonnurtnurt Lipzagpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the west.