Bam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able yak.

Bam created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bam, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never look at moons.