Larnnelyatthap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fussy salamander.

Larnnelyatthap created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnnelyatthap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnnelyatthap, he will try to impress you with trees.

Larnnelyatthap's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Larnnelyatthap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the north.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.