Afflamkin is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, confident lizard.

Afflamkin created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afflamkin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Afflamkin, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Afflamkin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Afflamkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention voles.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Afflamkin.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Always help tortoises.