Bumgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome hippopotamus.

Bumgeb created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumgeb, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bumgeb, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bumgeb's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bumgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not stand on grass.