Narlvidlarnciss is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident pig.

Narlvidlarnciss created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlvidlarnciss, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Narlvidlarnciss, she will torture you forever.

Narlvidlarnciss' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Narlvidlarnciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan shorts.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Hide if six dolphins approach from the north.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.