Xinpanghab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, flying monkey.

Xinpanghab created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Xinpanghab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinpanghab, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Xinpanghab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Xinpanghab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow tapirs, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Xinpanghab on top of all buildings.