Titbasstin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent alligator.

Titbasstin created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titbasstin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Titbasstin, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Titbasstin's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Titbasstin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Titbasstin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.