Veddotcithak is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciful porpoise.

Veddotcithak created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veddotcithak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Veddotcithak, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Veddotcithak's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Veddotcithak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

3. Never bounce in the presence of monkeys.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not eat aubergines.