Rowgampan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-powerful porpoise.

Rowgampan created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowgampan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rowgampan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rowgampan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Rowgampan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt foxes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.