Fagquimwee is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, all-powerful badger.

Fagquimwee created gold seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagquimwee, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fagquimwee, it will turn you into a duck.

Fagquimwee's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fagquimwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Fagquimwee must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not kill mites.