Zedzedbep is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, ill-tempered manatee.

Zedzedbep created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedzedbep, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedzedbep, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zedzedbep's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Zedzedbep's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Zedzedbep.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think ill of sick seals.