Bellargkab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omnipotent dove.

Bellargkab created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellargkab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bellargkab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bellargkab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bellargkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Erect five silver sculptures of Bellargkab on top of important buildings.