Nartbagmondib is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever camel.

Nartbagmondib created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbagmondib, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nartbagmondib, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nartbagmondib's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Nartbagmondib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the west.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.