Linbifbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, intelligent duck.

Linbifbaf created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Linbifbaf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Linbifbaf, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Linbifbaf's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Linbifbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never skip in the presence of pigs.

3. Do not hurt seals.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.