Pangtif is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, emotional skunk.

Pangtif created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangtif, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangtif, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Pangtif's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Pangtif's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Run away if three sharks approach from the west.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. You must never eat lentils.