Nurkabmot is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, resourceful hippopotamus.

Nurkabmot created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurkabmot, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurkabmot, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nurkabmot's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nurkabmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms indigo.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Hide if three pigs approach from the east.

5. Nurkabmot must be the most important thing in your life.