Tapsawnad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, grumpy cat.

Tapsawnad created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Tapsawnad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tapsawnad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tapsawnad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tapsawnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never hurt goats.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.