Nanzutbell is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, strong deer.

Nanzutbell created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Nanzutbell, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nanzutbell, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nanzutbell's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nanzutbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shave your arms.