Begpanvon is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, bad-tempered hamster.

Begpanvon created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Begpanvon, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Begpanvon, it will cry a lot.

Begpanvon's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Begpanvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Hide from purple eagles for they are unholy.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.