Nakstanlop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, contented troll.

Nakstanlop created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakstanlop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nakstanlop, she will cry a lot.

Nakstanlop's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nakstanlop's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nakstanlop.

2. Never paint your face blue.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the west.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.