Ripgumken is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, duplicitous slug.

Ripgumken created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripgumken, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ripgumken, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ripgumken's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Ripgumken's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.