Bastvognel is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, passionate zebra.

Bastvognel created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bastvognel, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastvognel, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bastvognel's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bastvognel's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not cook food in pots.