Hontalont is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil bird.

Hontalont created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hontalont, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hontalont, he will turn you into a duck.

Hontalont's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hontalont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hontalont's name in vain.

2. Never paint your chest violet.

3. You must love Hontalont.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Run away if seven nematodes approach from the north.