Zagortmil Staf is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, kind zebra.

Zagortmil Staf created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zagortmil Staf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zagortmil Staf, it will boil you in a big pot.

Zagortmil Staf's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zagortmil Staf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shave your chest.