Stiknarlhanboss is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, narcissistic penguin.

Stiknarlhanboss created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiknarlhanboss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stiknarlhanboss, he will remove you from existence.

Stiknarlhanboss' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stiknarlhanboss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stiknarlhanboss.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed wheat to pigs while wearing red ear rings.