Natnarlwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, grumpy bear.

Natnarlwon created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natnarlwon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Natnarlwon, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Natnarlwon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Natnarlwon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise otters for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not cook food in pots.