Jamdandav Futgignil is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, caring wombat.

Jamdandav Futgignil created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamdandav Futgignil, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jamdandav Futgignil, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jamdandav Futgignil's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Jamdandav Futgignil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

2. Worship no other gods but Jamdandav Futgignil.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jamdandav Futgignil.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never run in holy places.