Lithitpop is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, emotional rhinoceros.

Lithitpop created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lithitpop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lithitpop, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Lithitpop's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lithitpop's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never run near whales.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick monkeys.