Hogdumstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ruthless ant.

Hogdumstaf created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hogdumstaf, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hogdumstaf, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hogdumstaf's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Hogdumstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

5. Do not skip in public.