Yamlagpad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy gorilla.

Yamlagpad created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Yamlagpad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yamlagpad, she will turn you into a mole.

Yamlagpad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Yamlagpad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always treat cats with great respect.

4. Always obey Yamlagpad's priests.

5. Foxes are not to be trusted.