Madtipfid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous octopus.

Madtipfid created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Madtipfid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Madtipfid, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Madtipfid's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Madtipfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Madtipfid.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never pour water over plants.