Dogpangcut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful yak.

Dogpangcut created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogpangcut, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dogpangcut, she will be very unhappy.

Dogpangcut's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Dogpangcut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three dolphins approach from the north.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dogpangcut on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear ear rings.