Kenmidmet is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless wolf.

Kenmidmet created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenmidmet, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kenmidmet, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kenmidmet's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kenmidmet's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kenmidmet first in all things.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about moons.