Kapnillvigfun is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, generous mongoose.

Kapnillvigfun created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapnillvigfun, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kapnillvigfun, it will turn you into a mouse.

Kapnillvigfun's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kapnillvigfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Put Kapnillvigfun first in all things.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Kapnillvigfun on top of all buildings.