Zimquattun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane yak.

Zimquattun created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimquattun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zimquattun, he will refuse to believe in you.

Zimquattun's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Zimquattun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not take Zimquattun's name in vain.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zimquattun.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Never talk about gravity.