Sadbodstik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, astonishing jaguar.

Sadbodstik created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sadbodstik, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sadbodstik, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sadbodstik's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sadbodstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about gulls.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. You must love Sadbodstik.