Ditbossvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident chinchilla.

Ditbossvonk created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditbossvonk, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ditbossvonk, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Ditbossvonk's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ditbossvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Ditbossvonk on top of all buildings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear brown dresses.

5. Never paint your arms cyan.